Flowering tea and me

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After being under my folks loving care and later then realizing the reality of this cruel and tough world i was reduced to pieces. Confidence, inner peace, happiness, self .... disappeared. Who was i? i merely a ate and breathed the air organically unable to connect to humanity unable to feel love, relationship, camaraderie, belonging. I held on to pain, bitterness, anger, sadness to hold on to my last grip of reality.... did it really work? did i loose myself even more? who am i? who was i?

Getting my bubble broken in the cruelest possible way was the best thing that happened to me. Cant say if I'm wiser or if i will make smart decisions in the future, but I've realized the value of wanting to live and wanting to survive. I want to hold on to the few people who can still feel my existence. I want to hold on to people who can see me. Maybe then i can be strong enough to love and belong. Become someone one can truly call home.

The move to VA was so sudden and unexpected. Maybe i have another chance to find myself again, maybe i can love a part of me and survive. This flowering tea is the first thing i got. I hope i can bloom into someone one day from nothingness.